"What are you doing?"

This is the annoying question that makes my blood boil. It's always asked by the same person -- my husband -- and always when I'm doing the same thing -- checking my phone. Grrrr.

It just happened a few nights ago. We're in the car. I'm in the passenger seat with nothing to do I might as well be on vacation, so I check my phone. "What are you doing?" What do you want me to say? "I'm texting Sven (my fake boyfriend) that you'll be out of town and does he want to visit?"

Doesn't anyone respect the privacy that goes on between a person and their phone? What I'm doing is none of your business as long as the house is not on fire or the kids aren't being chased down the street by wild dogs. In those 2 cases, you can ask me what I'm doing and then point out the burning house or dog chase down the street. Otherwise, leave me alone.

The kids not being chased by wild dogs

What am I doing? I dunno, take your pick!

1. I'm on freaking Facebook.

2. I'm on freaking Pinterest.

3. I'm checking email.

4. I'm buying things we can't afford.

5. I'm on my "Time of the month" app finding out if it's soon to be the time of the month and that's why I'm such a raving lunatic bitch right now ready to chew your head off for asking me "What are you doing?"

What I'm not doing

1. Playing stupid games

2. Checking the NCAA tournament

3. Checking fantasy golf

4. Sending dumb texts about koala the pirate (total inside joke)

5. Checking the weather for the 100th time today when one can just stick their head outside and feel that it's freaking cold.

So please, let me just enjoy Sven my phone in peace & quiet. No more questions. Thank you. I love you.