Thursday, November 27, 2014
Friday, November 21, 2014
The new AllState Commercial ... did they read my blog?
Innocently watching some TV the other night -- which is so unlike me because at 8:30 p.m., once the kiddos doze off, I'm usually on the computer or dozing off myself -- I see an AllState Commerical called "Off Day" and I couldn't believe I was watching myself on TV!
Vacuuming up the hamster?
OK, so no I've never done this but I have vacuumed up socks and my son's Spider-Man Lego this morning (note to self: fish it out of the vacuum canister). And I do intentionally vacuum up the kitchen table after a messy breakfast (a little nod of the head to 1983's Mr. Mom).
Street clothes on your daughter for Ballet?
Um, so me! Except in my case it was gymnastics class. All the cute toddlers were in their cutesy leotards and my daughter shows up in her street clothes like Biff (I dunno why I use this term, a nod of the head to the bully in 1985's Back to the Future maybe?). Were we supposed to dress them like Mary Lou Retton? Does it really matter what she was wearing because I spent the entire class chasing after her as she expertly dodged tumblers, vaulters, and legs of all kind. I, on the other hand, chased her onto a mat (that she sprinted across like Legolas -- Lord of the Rings reference here) but that I sunk into like quicksand and sprained my ankle (reminding me that I weigh just a tad bit more than everyone else there.) The sad thing was that I did this about 3 times before yelling, "Uncle!"
Ripping apart fluffy Teddy in the washing machine?
I haven't done this but my husband has just asked to take over Laundry duty. What man, unless he's Ryan Gosling or Crazy, asks to do the household laundry? This should give you a picture of how laundry is done around here when it's on my watch. Crummy.
Smashing your car into a lampost?
Well no, but I did smash my car into another mom's minivan after a playdate in a fake parking lot. I say Fake, because it's a dead end street used as a parking lot which right there should absolve me from any smashing of minivans, but hasn't because our rates went up anyway.
"I should totally start a Blog"
OMG! I have!
Did they read my post on how great a MOM I am and make this commercial in my image? We even have the same hair! Ok, where are my royalties!?
Vacuuming up the hamster?
OK, so no I've never done this but I have vacuumed up socks and my son's Spider-Man Lego this morning (note to self: fish it out of the vacuum canister). And I do intentionally vacuum up the kitchen table after a messy breakfast (a little nod of the head to 1983's Mr. Mom).
Street clothes on your daughter for Ballet?
Um, so me! Except in my case it was gymnastics class. All the cute toddlers were in their cutesy leotards and my daughter shows up in her street clothes like Biff (I dunno why I use this term, a nod of the head to the bully in 1985's Back to the Future maybe?). Were we supposed to dress them like Mary Lou Retton? Does it really matter what she was wearing because I spent the entire class chasing after her as she expertly dodged tumblers, vaulters, and legs of all kind. I, on the other hand, chased her onto a mat (that she sprinted across like Legolas -- Lord of the Rings reference here) but that I sunk into like quicksand and sprained my ankle (reminding me that I weigh just a tad bit more than everyone else there.) The sad thing was that I did this about 3 times before yelling, "Uncle!"
 |
| My favorite Biff line, "Now make like a tree and get outta here." |
Ripping apart fluffy Teddy in the washing machine?
I haven't done this but my husband has just asked to take over Laundry duty. What man, unless he's Ryan Gosling or Crazy, asks to do the household laundry? This should give you a picture of how laundry is done around here when it's on my watch. Crummy.
 |
| itsblogworthy.com |
Smashing your car into a lampost?
Well no, but I did smash my car into another mom's minivan after a playdate in a fake parking lot. I say Fake, because it's a dead end street used as a parking lot which right there should absolve me from any smashing of minivans, but hasn't because our rates went up anyway.
"I should totally start a Blog"
OMG! I have!
Did they read my post on how great a MOM I am and make this commercial in my image? We even have the same hair! Ok, where are my royalties!?
Friday, November 14, 2014
The discontinued Winnie the Pooh Party
It all started with my daughter's love for Winnie the Pooh and an innocent search on Pinterest.
"Innocent search on Pinterest." I can just keep repeating that phrase over and over again because women all over the world are losing sleep after having discovered Pinterest. I can just hear some innocent mom's voice crying for help .... "I just searched on Pinterest and now I'm up until 2 a.m. making fondant snowflakes for 3 dozen Frozen cupcakes. It looked so easy?! WTF am I doing?!?"
Our backyard was the perfect place to host this magical Winnie-the-Pooh party for our soon-to-be 2 year old darling. We already had a sandbox (the sandy pit where Roo plays), a deserted area on the other side of the fence (Eyore's Gloomy Place), and a vegetable garden (Rabbits Garden), in addition to a bench under the tree (Pooh's thoughtful spot). We were set.
Top Row: 1.My daughter stares at her stuffed Pooh from her pink tablecloth 2. If I stick Piglet between the yellow silverware, does that count? 3. It was a perfect day for a Pik-nik. I.e we didn't have enough seats.
Middle Row: 1. My daughter playing in the Sandy Pit Where Roo Plays. 2. Our brunch - ignore the absence of honey-themed foods and ignore the clearance table cloth with a Circus theme. 3. Does chalk on the walkway count for a sign?
Bottom Row: 1. Whole Foods won't put Pooh on a cake ... will bees and a hive count? 2. Party-girl. 3. Was there not a champagne bar in the 100-Acre Woods? Did you check Owl's house?
"Innocent search on Pinterest." I can just keep repeating that phrase over and over again because women all over the world are losing sleep after having discovered Pinterest. I can just hear some innocent mom's voice crying for help .... "I just searched on Pinterest and now I'm up until 2 a.m. making fondant snowflakes for 3 dozen Frozen cupcakes. It looked so easy?! WTF am I doing?!?"
For me, as I said earlier, it all started with my daughter's love for Winnie the Pooh and that Innocent Search on Pinterest and ...
Of course! A cute Winnie the Pooh party complete with cute honey inspired brunch items, little Winnie-the-Pooh cups and plates in cheery yellow ...
Of course! A cute Winnie the Pooh party complete with cute honey inspired brunch items, little Winnie-the-Pooh cups and plates in cheery yellow ...
...signs of the Hundred Akre Wood and maybe even a beehive piñata...
The possibilities were endless, the pictures filled our hearts...
...and my husband and I gushed --this even made him gush -- over the possibilities.
Our backyard was the perfect place to host this magical Winnie-the-Pooh party for our soon-to-be 2 year old darling. We already had a sandbox (the sandy pit where Roo plays), a deserted area on the other side of the fence (Eyore's Gloomy Place), and a vegetable garden (Rabbits Garden), in addition to a bench under the tree (Pooh's thoughtful spot). We were set.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the road to dreams, Reality & Pinterest have a head on collision which happened when I ran into Party City with a sleeping child slumped over my shoulder looking for their Pooh section and they told me they "discontinued Pooh." Who discontinues Pooh? Children all over the world (or at least under my roof) are sleeping with the "one who's stuffed with fluff," dreaming of honey pots and bouncing Tiggers. Discontinued Pooh? Really?
I did what any Mom with 15 minutes of free time would do and I bought yellow plates and napkins and then promptly ignored any reference to Winnie-the-Pooh and the zillion awesome pins from party professionals of the rich-and-famous and hoped the guests (and my kids) would forget that I sent out Pooh invites telling them to come to the Hundred-Acre Woods for a party.
Middle Row: 1. My daughter playing in the Sandy Pit Where Roo Plays. 2. Our brunch - ignore the absence of honey-themed foods and ignore the clearance table cloth with a Circus theme. 3. Does chalk on the walkway count for a sign?
Bottom Row: 1. Whole Foods won't put Pooh on a cake ... will bees and a hive count? 2. Party-girl. 3. Was there not a champagne bar in the 100-Acre Woods? Did you check Owl's house?
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