Saturday, December 20, 2014

She's at it again

I know I am insanely late with this, but I'm just now watching episodes of Project Runway from 3 years ago when I was too busy hallucinating on baby powder & prenatal vitamins, so cut me some slack.

When I saw this picture of Bethanny Frankel on FB eons ago --told you I was insanely late...eons! -- I immediately forwarded it to my playgroup friends with the title, "She's at it again!"


They understood what I meant because just a few days earlier, we were talking about Post Partum depression: who of us had it, how bad we had it, and what we think caused it. We all listed the usual reasons
  • no sleep
  • the shock of becoming a parent and the lifestyle change
  • being at home all day alone
  • a hard labor and even harder recovery
  • trouble nursing
  • trouble everything! 
But always one to crack a joke, I had one thing on my list that wasn't on anyone else's:
  • Bethanny Frankel.

Her show on Bravo Lifetime cable channel I no longer have was airing while I was on maternity leave. This was her new show sans the other NY "Housewives" (of which none were actually housewives having watched the show in my pre-baby life), where she was married to some dude (not the same one from Housewives, pretty sure) and had a baby girl.

I will admit, in her defense (not that she needs it),  she wasn't 100% responsible for my post-partum sanity, but her TV show should have had a major disclaimer in NEON that advised new moms with babies under 3 months to change the station unless you intend to buy a new TV set because you will throw the remote at the screen.

It was in the middle of the afternoon when infants are supposed to be sleeping yet mine never did (again, I had trouble with everything) so I plopped myself on the couch, in the middle of a crazy messy house, with a crying baby, in a zombie-state induced by sleeping in 25-minute intervals, and I clicked on the TV. Bethany appeared, she had a new baby, I was intrigued. "Someone is going through what I am!" I cried (did I mention I was lonely?). "Maybe we can bond over the hardship of new motherhood?"

So I watched.

...a baby cries in the night. Bethanny sleeps on. The lights turn on and a night nurse gently wakes mom to nurse the baby. She does. When she finishes, the baby is put back in the arms of the night nurse and is whisked away. Our protagonist rolls over and goes back to sleep...

I'm not sure if I remember anything else because I think I blacked out. Or smashed the TV with the handle from the baby bouncer (or maybe I lifted that infernal baby swing over my head and crashed it down on top of the TV ... I just forget).

Night nurse? There are such things as night nurses?! Are they only for the Rich&Famous? What I would give to have a night nurse!!  An arm? My liver? Take them! Just give me that lady!!

Not this Night Nurse!!
via http://www.toonopedia.com/nightnrs.htm

 Alas, she wouldn't accept my kidney as payment and I was stuck doing all the work myself and getting no sleep. So every time I see Bethanny, I just think about how sad I felt and how envious I was of her night nurse. 

Seeing this picture ... I don't feel sad or envious anymore.

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