Thanksgiving 2014

Mars & Venus packing on vacation

We're leaving for vacation and packing for any vacation is always a nice reminder that the inequities between man and "wo"-man (as my sexist 7th grade social studies teacher always liked to phrase it) still live on.

I pack clothes for me & 2 kids. I go through all their summer clothes and force them to try it all on to see what fits. Then I make a checklist of what I'll bring for them and check it off the list as it goes in the suitcase taking approx. 3/4 of it.

My husband picks out his own clothes and puts them in the 1/4 space left for him the night before. Voila.

Everyone only gets 1/4 space for their stuff. Use it wisely.

I have what goes in the carry-on out and ready to go, along with mine and the kids clothes to wear on the plane so the morning of we can get ready and go.

My husband probably thinks I overthink everything and why can't I be that crazy hippie chick he met 13 years ago?

My infamous checklist.

I tear apart the bathroom packing up make up, bug spray, sunscreen for us & the kids, setting out everything so we can use what we need the next morning and then pack that up.

My husband is asleep.

If I dare complain, my mom & grandmother would more than likely say "we used to pack for our husbands too! At least you don't have to do that!"

Of course my point being in that 50 years man is now capable of packing for himself but it hasn't gone any further than that.

Evolution is still working on that prototype. 

"What are you doing?"

This is the annoying question that makes my blood boil. It's always asked by the same person -- my husband -- and always when I'm doing the same thing -- checking my phone. Grrrr.

It just happened a few nights ago. We're in the car. I'm in the passenger seat with nothing to do I might as well be on vacation, so I check my phone. "What are you doing?" What do you want me to say? "I'm texting Sven (my fake boyfriend) that you'll be out of town and does he want to visit?"

Doesn't anyone respect the privacy that goes on between a person and their phone? What I'm doing is none of your business as long as the house is not on fire or the kids aren't being chased down the street by wild dogs. In those 2 cases, you can ask me what I'm doing and then point out the burning house or dog chase down the street. Otherwise, leave me alone.

The kids not being chased by wild dogs

What am I doing? I dunno, take your pick!

1. I'm on freaking Facebook.

2. I'm on freaking Pinterest.

3. I'm checking email.

4. I'm buying things we can't afford.

5. I'm on my "Time of the month" app finding out if it's soon to be the time of the month and that's why I'm such a raving lunatic bitch right now ready to chew your head off for asking me "What are you doing?"

What I'm not doing

1. Playing stupid games

2. Checking the NCAA tournament

3. Checking fantasy golf

4. Sending dumb texts about koala the pirate (total inside joke)

5. Checking the weather for the 100th time today when one can just stick their head outside and feel that it's freaking cold.

So please, let me just enjoy Sven my phone in peace & quiet. No more questions. Thank you. I love you.